I didn’t know Tim for as long as many
of you here did. But over the past year
and a half, we developed an unexpected and very special friendship. He was my buddy for bocce, karaoke, and
rambling around on back county roads. If
I was bored, I could always count on Tim to join me, and we’d cook up some
scallywag caper. The fact that he was
20 years older than me and missing most of his teeth in no way stopped him from flirting with me like it
was his job. I love how much I could
just be myself around Tim, and how much I felt like he appreciated me for
exactly who and how I am. That feeling
was mutual.
I hope it helps you to know that
Tim’s last day was a great day spent with family and friends. First he was with a friend in Pinole and then
with Raija in Concord. Once he got back
to Pittsburg, I picked him up and we rambled through the hills and back
roads around Mount Diablo and the Black Diamond Mines. We talked and laughed and made fun of each
other, and we decided that we were going to get rich by making a podcast of me
and him and all our ridiculous conversations.
Then we shared a plate of fish ‘n’ chips at the Riverview Lodge in
Antioch, and I dropped him off at home.
Before he went inside, we told each other how much fun we always had
when we were together. I feel so
grateful to have had that time with him and that our appreciation for one another
didn’t go unsaid.
In hindsight, having spent a good
part of his actual last day with him, I’ve come to realize that he really did
live every single day like it was his last, being present in the moment and
enjoying whatever he was doing. He could
create his own entertainment, even if it was something as simple as going for a
ride, having a drink with friends, knocking some golf balls into the Straights
down by the Nantucket, a leisurely afternoon bocce game, or parking by the
water and enjoying the scenery. Whatever
it was, he had a great time doing it. It
didn’t have to be a big bucket list item for him to get excited. He had a knack for being in the present that
was infectious.
Kristi, he got SO tickled with your
responses as you were helping him with what he could say to address the
unfairness of his recent housing situation.
Tim, I think the first time I met
your dad was when you and I went to Toots – you two were the biggest men in the
bar. As soon as he saw you, he grabbed you
in a long tight hug and gave you the sweetest kisses all over your face. I’ve never seen affection like that before
between a grown son and his father.
Raija, on Tim’s last night he told me
that he thought that you were the most like him – introverted and a little shy
but with a sassy side that’s just waiting to come out. He said that he thought that you are going to
surprise everybody with your shine.
I don’t know what the hardest part is
going to be for anyone else here – I can’t speak to that. But for me, its knowing that I don’t get to
share life’s little disappointments and victories with him or tell him about
something interesting that I saw that I know he’d get a kick out of. For instance, I recently discovered that there
are NO appropriate AC/DC lyrics with which to end a eulogy.
Tim surrounded himself with friends
and family. He made adventures out of
the simplest things. He was witty and
sassy and clever, and he was overflowing with the joy of life even when things
weren’t going his way. He also made some
choices that were difficult to accept by the people who loved him most. Because these were decisions that meant that
the time we’d have with him would be shorter than what we wanted.
But Tim lived how he wanted, and none of us loved him any
less for his vices. The truest measure of a man’s success
is the love that he leaves behind when he’s gone. By that measure, Tim was a superstar.
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